I literally have the easiest job on the face of this planet. Also, it is the most boring job on the face of this planet, but I’m not complaining. It could be worse...much much MUCH worse. But also it could be cooler…much much MUCH cooler. Still not complaining.
What I find interesting is that the whole format of my day revolves around trying to kill time. Whether it be with exploring the far corners of the interwebs or simply cramming my brain full of information that I’ll never use which can be found in the various books I read, i.e. learning how to decipher Mayan hieroglyphs, preparing myself to win in a fight against pirate zombies (I haven’t forgotten about part 2 of my zombie blog…it’s coming!) or learning about isostatic rehabilitation and why I need to plan another trip up to Put-In-Bay, I can defy the physics of time. I think it safe to say that if ever asked, I could put down on future resumes that the description of my job in this office was to fill 8 hours full of nothing.
For instance, I woke up this morning thinking to myself, “Melissa, what is going to get you to the 4 o’clock hour, avoiding the dire need to maim your body just to feel something other than the numbness of boredom and monotony?” And I came up with a list of things that I would research, learn and extrapolate upon to my unsuspecting cousin when she showed up for dinner later this evening. Here is today’s to-do list: (I told you guys that I love these things)…
1. Check my facebook page and play Mafia Wars until 9:30am.
2. Check on my petition and read all the names and comments of the 3,500 people that have already signed it. Without going into further detail, here is the petition I started last week in the hopes of garnering attention for the loved ones of our troops fighting overseas (sign it if you agree!): http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/cellphonebanban/
3. See what the hell this squirrely weather is going to do for the next 10 days even though I just checked it 10 hours ago.
4. Find a Pandora station that plays nothing but dark ethereal ambient trance music. <- Don’t ask, I’m just in a mood this week. BTW, I found it under the Delerium station. Forgot about them.
5. Find a meatloaf recipe since I have 4 lbs. of beef, veal and pork sitting in my fridge and I don’t know what to do with it besides making the loaf or meatballs, and I already had meatballs this past weekend, not that you can’t have enough meatballs. That’s just crazy talk.
6. Upload pictures of the ice encased trees that I took this morning despite the fact I was running 10 minutes late and still had to unbury my car.
7. Read the 6th book of the Black Dagger Brotherhood series.
Well, it’s 1:06pm and I’ve done almost everything on this list but find a meatloaf recipe. I don’t know if it’s testament to my laziness but the last thing I want to do is go to Foodnetwork.com. I have been avoiding this simple search for the past 5 hours, which has been taxing unto itself since I decided to read the entire Metro section of the online newspaper, looked up and memorized all the names to the Finger Lakes and looked up all the credits to the 1963 version of The Haunting.
And because of my meal preparation insolence, I was just told that I would be spending the next 2 hours working on specs. I’m pretty much kicking myself because I didn’t come here today with “do actual work” on my list and now it’s fucking everything up. I think rather than doing the specs right away, I’m going to procrastinate and show my employer that they can’t screw with a good list, by looking up meatloaf glaze recipes for the next hour or so.
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